GRABBING LIFE BY THE HORNS
I find that the most effective approach for dissipating fear is to face it head on. That’s how I ended up in the Red Sea and Eilat, Israel to overcome my fear of the deep by learning to scuba dive from the world’s best!
I was assigned to someone, vehemently I insisted on a specific teacher while the Dive Center’s Manager repeatedly refused my request. Like a martial arts master he set up my next move: “Why do you want Moshe as a dive master?” “Because I trust him!” I said.
“That’s why you were assigned to Amir. By the time you’re done, you’ll be confident under water based your own skills – not your buddy’s.” He added, “Your life is the most precious thing you have… Why would you ever put it in someone else’s hands?”
Wise words. No surprise since Yitzchak was a Mossad Agent before becoming a father of 8 boys and owner of a dive center. At times, fear causes us to make foolish choices like seeking false protection in others and delegating or outsourcing critical matters even when we shouldn’t because the stakes are too high.
This New Year, say goodbye to resolutions that don’t make it to month end. Rising to new heights, take a panoramic view of your life:
- Identify your Biggest Fear.
- Starting with your ideal desired outcome, break it down by setting immediate, medium and long-term goals.
- Craft an action plan to achieve significant milestones by the end of each quarter.
- Define “done” dates now and choose someone you respect to hold you accountable later.
- Rinse and repeat (January 2014).
Don’t delegate or leave important things to chance. What you run from – you run into.Take command by grabbing life by the horns. The more you master, the less there is to fear.
How To Accelerate Resolution And Evolution
I worked with a business owner that had to sort through a hodgepodge of issues resulting from conflict with her business partner, who had engaged in unethical behavior against their company and joint interests. Matters were further complicated since they were husband and wife. She asked for help to figure out what to do.
I recommended she consult a marriage counselor. She said perhaps she would at a later stage but insisted I guide her in managing the crisis. I said, “You cannot pull a giant through a keyhole.”
Sometimes acting out has to take the place of figuring out what needs to be done. It’s not by playing small to make others look big, or being diplomatic and politically correct when you’ve been harmed, that you can resolve all conflict. At times, you’ve got to unload your guns and wound or even kill a few.
She forced the subject causing a showdown. This created a reality check and reinstated balance. By forcing matters into the open that needed to be addressed, she accelerated resolution, which was (at least) in her best interest. Sometimes confrontation is the most effective and efficient means of achieving resolution. Revolve or evolve.
If you could ask one question about what’s holding you back from catapulting your life forward, what would it be? To ask yours, click on the link below.
Q. What is your take on personality tests? I came across one that provided conflicting information about where I should be investing my time and energy.
A. I firmly disapprove of personality testing because most of it is not valid enough to make the decisions that are going to influence people’s lives, careers, and futures. For example, Myers Briggs, one of the more popular, was created by a housewife and her daughter during World War with no professional background for it. Who cares that the classifications were extrapolated from the typological theories published in Carl Gustav Jung’s book, Psychological Types.
Assuming the creators of these tests are professionally qualified, the problem remains with forced choice testing. What if none of the 4 choices are yours or all of them are yours? You’re still forced to make a choice. Do your research and make your own decisions. But be careful since most of these tests are only slightly better than Tarot cards or a horoscope. They might provide interesting insight but they shouldn’t play a significant role in helping you determine the decisions that will be affecting your career, life, and future.
You’re better off investing in clarifying your core values, which are the basis of all that you say, think, feel, and do. This way, you know with utmost certainty that you are going in the right direction. Yours.
Send me your questions. Although I can’t promise to reply to each one individually, you may see yours featured here in an upcoming issue!
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